How To Make Someone Love You

Leadership Development – Level 3
Elective Project: Focus on the Positive
5-7 Minute speech

This project addresses strategies for improving your personal interactions by understanding the impact of your attitudes and thoughts on daily interactions.

How many of you have had a relationship that ended, but you didn’t want it to?

Maybe you felt like they were way out of your league?

  • Better looking
  • Smarter
  • Made more money
  • Better personality
  • Everything about them was just a little better than you could offer… But for some reason, they fell for you… For a little while.

When someone doesn’t want you, you continue to try harder, in hopes they’ll want us back. The harder you try, the less they want you. If they fell out of love with you, (not because you did something wrong, but they just lost interest), trying harder isn’t going to help.

Maybe they initially fell for you because they were lonely.

Maybe they just got out of a bad relationship and you were the rebound.

Chances are, your failed relationship falls into one of these categories:

  1. You’re right. They are way out of your league. They feel sorry for you and you convince them to stay, but you’ll never get the best of them… You’re able to whine and complain and guilt them into sticking around… They resent you. This isn’t love. It’s sympathy & weakness.
  2. Maybe you’re right…? They are way out of your league. You continue to chase them, and try to convince them how much you love them… The more you try, the more distant they get. By begging, you have sunk to a level that is absolutely unattractive. They distance themselves, and you feel worse about yourself.
  3. You were in a vulnerable position when you started dating, and felt like they “completed you”. For some reason, that feeling went away quicker for them than it did for you… Chances are, you were just in a compromised position, or the timing wasn’t right.

You’ll see that person a few years down the road in the grocery store, or at the shopping mall, and see they’ve gained some weight and put on a few years, and you’ll be glad you didn’t get them back.

You Can’t Make Somebody Love You The Way You Love Them!

  1. Don’t try to be with someone who needs you to change to be good enough for them. If you have to change who you are in to get them to love you, it’s the wrong person.
  2. Stop settling for someone who would be perfect if they could just change…  something. Stop trying to change people. Find someone who doesn’t need changing… Seriously, are you looking for a project, or a partner?

I was in a situation like this when I was younger, and here’s how I handled it…


  • Improve yourself
  • Grow spiritually
  • Grow emotionally
  • Start a business
  • Become successful
  • Be the light. Become someone that others are drawn to. You’ll end up being thankful that this person left you, if you dedicate yourself to self improvement, because that loss may have greatly improved your life.

You can’t make someone love you, but you can learn to love yourself and you can use that loss to become something you’d have never have become if you didn’t have that spark of inspiration.

Don’t let a loss define you. Let it become what drives you to gain greater happiness than you could ever imagine!

Become the best person you can be for the person that God’s going to bring into your life!

You don’t want someone who doesn’t want you back. Stop chasing someone who makes you feel like you’re not good enough. YOU can do better!

Go out and work on yourself. You’ll look back in a few years and be glad you didn’t get stuck with someone who had already hit their peak!

Don’t try to win them back. Try to make yourself better!

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